Browns receiver Donte Stallworth plead guilty to a charge of “hideous hair extensions” this week to as part of a plea agreement in Miami, Fla., a league source said Monday night. Prior to the plea agreement, he was facing a sentence of up to fifteen years in prison if convicted. The guilty plea likely means Stallworth will spend some time in jail and may be asked to shave his head. It is not known yet what disciplinary action the NFL will take, but the league intends to address the issue in the next few weeks. Brownieman.net contacted NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell for comment. “The fans deserve to know what materials Donte used to create his ungodly hair extensions. He’s says he’s unsure if they are 100% human hair, 100% synthetic hair or a mixture of human, synthetic and animal hair. Regardless, I think the world is better off with him behind bars. This isn’t a damn reggae club – it’s the NFL,” he said from his home on Monday. Stallworth has been excused from all Browns off-season workouts and a mandatory minicamp while he focused on his legal problems.

Local doctors have surgically removed Eric Mangini’s left thumb from his ass, in an attempt to help him reach a decision on the starting quarterback situation in Cleveland. Many believe that the thumb has been lodged in Mangini’s rectum since he was hired by the Browns in January. The doctor at the Cleveland Clinic that performed the operation was reluctant to give an exact timetable for the coach to choose his QB, but he is hopeful that rest and physical therapy will help speed up the decision making process now that the obstruction has been removed. Mangini is expected to make a full recovery.

A Westlake man has been arrested for impersonating Brownie Man at Cleveland State University on Wednesday evening, police said. Jose Harrera, 21, was encountered by officers responding to a domestic disturbance call on Chester Avenue, said Lt. Eric Trainor of the Cleveland Police Department. Harrera was manning the keg at an off-campus party being hosted by local students, but he knew no one at the party personally. Police believe his elaborate costume enabled him to gain entry to the party uninvited. Harrera told party-goers that he was Brownie Man, and he continued that ridiculous story when confronted by police, Trainor said. Harrera was charged with one felony count of impersonating a beloved super hero, and is free on a $5,000 bond.