Edwards Traded for Bourbon, Cigarettes
The Browns have announced that they will trade Braylon Edwards to the New York Giants rather than risk another season filled with dropped passes and disgruntled fans. In exchange for the former Pro Bowl wideout, Cleveland will receive a fifth of bourbon and a carton of Camel non-filters. “This deal doesn’t really help us fill any holes on our roster, but we figured the coaching staff is going to need all the bourbon and cigarettes they can get this season, “Mangini said from his office in Berea. “The Giants wouldn’t give us the draft picks we wanted, so we figured this was the next best thing.” He would not identify which coaches on his staff already drink and smoke, but he did say that all those who didn’t would probably start soon. Edwards told Brownieman.net that he’s ready for a new beginning. “Cleveland was great to me,” he said from a Starbucks on Sunday. “I had a great time playing here, even though most of the fans hated me. I’m going to miss everyone on the team. But it’s also a new opportunity for me to drop passes in a much bigger market.” He then mishandled his latte and it crashed to the floor.
April 19th, 2009 at 8:44 pm
Sounds like a fair trade to me!
May 4th, 2009 at 4:52 pm
No such luck, I’m afraid!
May 5th, 2009 at 2:18 pm
To me, this trade would hinge on the brand of the whiskey. I don’t think we’d get top shelf.