While on a routine patrol in Cleveland’s Collinwood neighborhood on Wednesday, Officer Gerald Jackson told his partner of 12 years that it would be their last ride together. Earlier that morning, Jackson decided he would enter the 2009 NFL draft. Brownieman.net spoke with him about his decision. “I graduated with a degree in criminal justice, but I’ve always wanted to play quarterback in the NFL,” he said. “I think my chances of getting picked up are pretty good. Anyone that has seen me patrol the Muni lot during Browns tailgates knows I have a cannon for an arm. I can usually toss a football through a tire on my fifth or sixth throw,” he said. Jackson, who is 5-foot-7, 200 pounds, has no college football experience. “That’s what makes me dangerous. No NFL defense can prepare to face me because I’m not on tape. I’m a unique player who can bring a lot to a team,” he said. If Jackson does not sign with an agent and decides to return to the CPD, he must submit a letter informing the NFL of his intentions by midnight on Friday.

Authorities have arrested a Norwalk man on animal cruelty charges following the seizure of a 100 pound pig that he allegedly roasted at a Browns tailgate last season. Police say that after the pig’s charred carcass was found in a homemade barbeque pit near the vehicle owned by 32-year old Morgan Dubois, they arrested him on the spot. The responding officer also seized 3 cases of beer and taco dip that allegedly belonged to Dubois. He was released after posting $3,500 unsecured bond.

According to US Weekly Magazine, Octuplet-mom Nadya Suleman has purchased a new, eight tube beer bong to help feed her 14 children. David Nejedly, a Browns fan from Sandusky, Ohio sold the device to Suleman primarily to make a little cash. “With the economy being as bad as it is, I was just looking for ways to recoup some of my lost retirement savings. I also thought it might open the door to a reality TV show of some kind” he told brownieman.net on Saturday. Multiple media sources reported two weeks ago that Octo-Mom paid in excess of $13 for the bong, but Nejedly would not confirm or deny those reports.