The Cleveland Browns shocked the world on Sunday by snapping their 10-game losing streak, dating back to last season. They dominated what many would argue is a Super Bowl bound team in the Buffalo Bills, with a convincing 6-3 victory. After the game, Mangini gave the game ball to Derek Anderson, who was a stellar 2 for 17 for 23 yards and one INT. That’s an 11.8% completion rate for all of you mathematicians out there. “I’ve never seen anything like that in my life,” Mangini said, “D.A. did an excellent job trying to lose that game for us. We want to get the number one pick in the draft next year, and so does Derek – so he can get the hell out of here. I salute his selflessness.” Mangini went on to say that several members of the defense, which held Buffalo under 150 yards in passing, will be running until their eyes bleed. Lord knows what is in store for the special teams players.

The Buffalo Bills & Buffalo Sabres will merge to form one team, and relocate to Toronto, according to an anonymous source close to both teams. An ownership group in Canada has offered over $850 million for the teams. The source informed brownieman.net that the decision was relatively easy to come to. Since both teams suck and win about 50% of their games, collectively they should win more. The ownership group wants to move the new “hybrid” team to Toronto in order to increase attendance and create a rivalry with the Toronto Maple Leafs, similar to the Yankees/Mets rivalry in New York. The current owners have said they’ve lost millions of dollars in recent years because their stadiums are too small and outdated and the lease terms are unfavorable. It is rumored that the sale and relocation of the team will take place before Sunday’s game against the Browns, which could result in Cleveland’s first victory of the year – albeit by forfeit.