According to the Associated Press, Hollywood icon and diehard Cleveland Browns fan, Robert Downey Jr. wants to legally change his name to Robert BROWNIE Jr. before the start of 2011 NFL season. Downey’s attorney filed a petition in Columbus, Ohio last week seeking the change. In court documents obtained by brownieman.net, the actor cited personal reasons for the request. His publicist has since confirmed that the change was in honor of his beloved Cleveland Browns, as well as a nod to his mother Elsie’s pot brownies. Downey may be best known for his run-ins with the law and battles with drug and alcohol abuse, but now he wants to be known as a card-carrying member of the Dawg Pound. He wouldn’t be the first person to make a change to an unusual name. In 2007, a member of the Ohio National Guard legally changed his name to Optimus Prime before being deployed in the Middle East. And in the NFL, Cincinnati Bengals WR Chad Johnson changed his last name to Ochocinco in 2008. An August 14th court date was set to consider Downey’s petition.

Kathy Danna, a 38-year old accountant from Akron, has decided to give her baby up for adoption because she can’t stomach the idea of raising a child that was fathered by a hillbilly from Western Pennsylvania. The woman discovered she was pregnant just weeks after sleeping with Anthony Gale, 47, who she met at a baseball game in Pittsburgh. To add insult to injury, Danna has been married for over four years and was unsure who the father of her baby was at first. However, an ultrasound on Wednesday confirmed that the baby she is carrying is, in fact, Yinzer offspring. “The doctor showed me the ultrasound and I could see that the baby was holding a terrible towel in its hand,” she said. “I was so upset, I collapsed. My husband Rick has been a Browns fan since he was nine, so I knew Anthony had to be the father. It made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.” Danna went on to say the sexual encounter between her and Mr. Gale was a one-time thing and the result of “being severely intoxicated and making bad decisions”, but she vowed to rectify her mistake by giving her baby up for adoption. At one point during her interview Danna admitted that she briefly considered having an abortion but ultimately decided it was not in-line with her moral compass, further explaining that even Yinzers have a place in god’s world. Although her husband Rick hasn’t forgiven her for her transgressions, she hopes to smooth things over by giving him a pair of Dawg Pound tickets this season. Rick did not immediately return calls for comment, but a friend close to the situation said he’s seriously considering his wife’s offer.

At brownieman.net, we laugh because the only other alternative is to cry. And we recently celebrated our second birthday! For over two years, we’ve been entertaining Browns fans and making new friends by acting like jagoffs. Too bad we accidentally deleted our website archives! Not to worry though – we fired the guy responsible for that and there’s plenty more to come. Thank you for stopping by and for all your support over the last couple of years. Your feedback has helped make this site what it is today. Be sure to share your pictures, videos, and stories with Brownie Man on Facebook, and as always, GO BROWNS!

Team President Mike Holmgren sure knows how to woo a fan base. First came the ring of honor; then he fired Mangini. Now the big man is greasing the wheels even more by sending all 2011 season ticket holders a special Valentine’s Day gift: A Cleveland Browns chocolate robot. The Fox Sports “Cleatus the Robot Action Figure” comes in three different varieties: dark chocolate, milk chocolate, and white chocolate – but the recipients won’t know which one they get until it arrives at their front door. “It’s something I’ve wanted to do for some time,” Holmgren said in a telephone interview. “Our fans are our lifeblood. We want them to come back next year. So I thought: fuck it! Let’s send all of our season ticket holders chocolate robots! That’ll bring ‘em back!” The 2-foot tall edible droid weighs about three and a half pounds and retails for about $24.99. “It’s the least we can do – especially since we can’t refund their money from last year,” Holmgren admitted. He went on to say that the robots move and can even dance like that asshole Ray Lewis, and he hopes the fans appreciate the teams generosity. “Even if there is no NFL season in 2011, the fans in Cleveland will have something sweet to suck on to get them through the year.”