Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl confirmed Sunday evening that none of the highway signs leading into his city contain typos. “The signs say Shittsburgh because Pittsburgh is, in fact, a crappy place to be,” he said from his downtown office. “Unfortunately I have the displeasure of running this town, so I think I am qualified to make that determination. Any city that would elect a 29 year old to run things clearly has issues.” This ends weeks of speculation that someone at the sign making company was drunk when fabricating the green directional signs. Mayor Ravenstahl would not comment on rumors that his city’s NFL team is considering changing their name to the Squeelers.