What are commonly referred to as silly teenage pranks can sometimes have serious consequences. Pittsburgh resident Randy Kennedy experienced that first-hand last season while visiting Cleveland for a game against his archrival. Kennedy, a life-long Steelers fan, was severely injured last December when one of his brilliant yinzer friends dared him to run through the Muni Lot in an Art Modell costume, waving a terrible towel and screaming obscenities at Browns fans He made it all of about 25 yards into the lot before several thousand tailgaters beat him to a bloody pulp. Kennedy, who barely escaped with his life, has since tried to prosecute the ring leaders of the beat-down. He suffered a fractured skull, a broken jaw and later developed pneumonia. As a result, he had to spend 100 days in an intensive care unit and undergo four major surgeries to fix his injuries. However, on Monday afternoon, a Cleveland judge ruled that Kennedy was a natural born dumbass and utterly insane for even attempting such a stunt – clearing the Browns fans of all charges. “Young people must think about the consequences of their actions,” he said up upon issuing the ruling. “Hopefully this incident will stand as an example to show young towel waving morons like Mr. Kennedy what a thoughtless act, perceived by them as a funny joke, can do in real life.”

A Pittsburgh man was arrested in downtown Cleveland on Wednesday evening and charged with reckless stupidity. Jesse Rockwell, 37, was picked up by Police just outside The Winking Lizard Tavern around 11pm. He and his toothless, meth-addicted friends were walking around the city with their shirts off. Although walking around sans shirt is not typically viewed as criminal, police made an exception in Rockwell’s case because he was covered from head to toe in Pittsburgh-themed sports tattoos. Brownieman.net was able to reach Rockwell at the county jail for comment. “Yinz guys are blowin this outta proportion, man. I spent a lot of money on these tatts. I got me Willie Stargell, Terry Bradshaw, Mario Lemieux, and some guy that got cut from the Stillers 1977 team. Yinz guys don’t like art or somethin?” Rockwell’s attorney will represent him in court this morning and hopes to get the charges dropped after proving that his client is a moron. He is currently being held without bond.