Brownie Arrested for Battery of Raven

Die ratbird, die! Cleveland Browns’ beloved brownie mascot was arrested for choking Remy the Raven unconscious this morning, Cuyahoga County deputies said. Brownie ran from investigators when they arrived but was later captured and taken into custody, according to the arrest report. Remy, the sexually confused mascot of the Baltimore Ravens, refused medical attention. Though the sheriff’s office says Remy was the victim in the choking incident, he was also arrested early this morning. “It was just a very chaotic scene,” Sheriff McKinnon said. “While deputies were trying to get to the bottom of the fight, several dozen Browns fans poured into the street and began egging them on.” McKinnon went on to say that the fight started over a disagreement concerning the talent level of the Browns’ offensive line. Brownie was charged with attempted murder and battery by strangulation. Remy was charged with felony stupidity and resisting an officer without violence. Both mascots were denied bail.

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