Jesus to Open T-shirt Shop Downtown
The Associated Press has confirmed that Jesus Christ will open a clothing store in downtown Cleveland early next week. The store, rumored to be called Holy Shit, will be located in the Terminal Tower building and will feature the ever-popular, Jesus Hates the Steelers line of t-shirts. This is Jesus’ first entrepreneurial effort but it is something he has been thinking about for centuries. “I thoroughly enjoy the downtown atmosphere,” he said. “Traveling to other cities and seeing people walk and shop and gather downtown; I wanted to be a part of that in Cleveland — the downtown renewal. And everyone knows I hate the Steelers, as much or more than lepercy, so why not capitalize on that?” Brownieman.net contacted Mayor Jackson’s office for comment. “The importance of retail to the vibrancy of a downtown cannot be underestimated,” he said. “We welcome Mr. Christ with open arms. I even bought one of his shirts myself.” Holy Shit will be open from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. Monday thru Saturday.