Brownie Man has established a Yinzer of the Month program to recognize outstanding examples of white trash from Western Pennsylvania. We hope to encourage other meth-addicted hillbillies to continue being themselves, so we always have someone to laugh at. In December, you can help Brownie Man select the 2011 Yinzer of the Year from the pool of monthly winners below.

August 2011: Roy McCaskill

Name: Roy McCaskill
Age: 61
Occupation: Light Rail Operator

Reason for award: If scientists mixed the sperm of Harry Caray, Myron Cope, and Cee Lo Green in a Petri dish, they would have half of what they need to produce Roy McCaskill. The veteran light rail operator may look like a barrel of laughs, but he is one messed up dude. Earlier this month, he was arrested for intentionally running over a pedestrian with the train he was operating in downtown Pittsburgh. Witnesses say McCaskill tried to flee the scene of the accident via train, so it didn’t take long for police to catch him. They were waiting for him at the next stop. Congratulations, Roy! Piloting a real life crazy train has earned you our Yinzer of the month award for August.

July 2011: Larry Jones

Name: Larry Jones
Age: 39
Occupation: Con Artist

Reason for award: Ground control to Major Tom….Larry Jones, a.k.a. Ziggy Steelerdust, may be the ultimate Yinzer. He is a Baldwin man accused of donning a costume and makeup and claiming he was David Bowie’s alter ego – in an attempt to get free tickets to Pittsburgh Steelers games. For weeks, Jones hoodwinked a stunning array of downtown ticket brokers and businesses with his elaborate charade – using heavy makeup, a fake ID and a phony “package,” law enforcement officials said. The 39-year-old was busted late Monday afternoon and will be arraigned next week on grand larceny, forgery and conspiracy charges, making him our Yinzer of the month for July.

June 2011: Jay Blackstone

Name: Jay Blackstone
Age: 28
Occupation: Former Proofreader, U.S. Mint

Reason for award: Jay Blackstone, a former proofreader for the U.S. Mint, was recently shit-canned after sending thousands of quarters into circulation with the wrong spelling of our beloved country’s name. The problematic coins, which were issued in the Fall of 2010, had spelled the country’s name as “United States of Amerca”, but the error was wasn’t noticed until after the coins were released. To add insult to injury, Blackstone’s photograph was taken at a Steelers game the weekend following his firing, and as luck would have it, there was a typo on his game day poster. His misfortune, and misspellings, make Blackstone our Yinzer of the month for June. Good luck with the job hunt, Jay!

May 2011: Bret Michaels

Name: Bret Michaels
Age: 48
Occupation: A musician, we think.

Reason for award: Yes, every rose has its thorn – and every village has its idiot. Such is the case with Butler, Pennsylvania, the birthplace of Bret Michaels – our Yinzer of the month for May. Bret is a musician, producer and reality television personality, who first gained fame as the lead vocalist of the glam metal band, Poison. Their music is featured in virtually every bar on Pittsburgh’s South Side. Besides his career as a singer dressed in drag, Bret has several solo albums to his credit – none of which anyone outside of his family has heard. He appeared in the VH1 reality show Rock of Love and its sequels, and as a judge on the talent show Nashville Star. He was also the winning contestant on NBC’s reality show Celebrity Apprentice 3 and he is a huge Steelers fan. His pseudo stardom, coupled with the fact that he wears cowboy hats 24/7 has landed him the coveted Yinzer of the month award for May. Congratulations Mr. Michaels! Now someone please crank up “Unskinny Bop”.

April 2011: Orlin Hughes

Name: Orlin Hughes
Age: 30
Occupation: Professional Douche Bag

Reason for award: Our Yinzer of the month award for April goes to Orlin Hughes of Swissvale, PA. He is the proud father of a 10-month-old baby girl. He was arrested for child endangerment last week at a campsite in Western Pennsylvania – after a sheriff’s deputy found him too intoxicated to care for the infant. A deputy responded at about 8:15 p.m. to Shawnee Springs campground on a report of a man disturbing the peace. The deputy found Mr. Hughes, 30, intoxicated and wearing only a Pittsburgh Steelers hoodie that smelled of urine and blue underwear briefs. Prior to the arrest, he was belligerent and combative with county park rangers and medics. Hughes, who doesn’t have enough money to feed his kid but plenty for booze and cigarettes, gave the deputy several false names, resisted lawful direction and repeatedly attempted to flee custody. His daughter was placed into protective custody with Allegheny County, according to the sheriff’s office. While he awaits trial, he can talk trash in the prison yard about being crowned Yinzer of the month.

March 2011: Louis Scott

Name: Louis Scott
Age: 41
Occupation: Chief Executive Officer, Stiller’s Tattoo Parlor

Reason for award: Mr. Scott converted his garage from a meth lab to a tattoo parlor in the summer of 1989. Back in those days, he had one needle and no customers – which forced him to dedicate his own body to the art of tattooing. Scott was otherwise unemployed, and with the exception of paint huffing, he had no other known hobbies. The inspiration for the majority of his tattoos came from his beloved sports teams in Pittsburgh. Twenty-two years later, he still has no customers – or even a license to practice tattooing. But his torso now boasts over 300 colorful tattoos – some better than others. Former players of the Penguins, Pirates, and Steelers stretch from his shoulders to his genitals, which makes Mr. Scott our Yinzer of the month for March.

February 2011: Jeff Vancowenberg

Name: Jeff Vancowenberg
Age: 26
Occupation: IT Helpdesk Specialist (PNC Bank)

Reason for award: We can’t think of a reason not to give Jeff the award for February! Mr. Vancowenberg exemplifies the very definition of the word Yinzer. His friends call him Burger, a reference to his favorite food, not his last name or the city in which he resides. The photo above was taken 30 seonds after the Steelers beat the Jets in the AFC Championship game. Note the abs of steel. Sadly, it would be Jeff’s final victory lap of the year.

January 2011: Barb Derkowski

Name: Barb Derkowski
Age: 43
Occupation: Mailroom Clerk (GNC, Inc.)

Reason for award: If Shelley Duvall and Ronald McDonald had the kind of sex that could produce offspring, Barb would be their daughter. Although Ronald might want to point out that she used the wrong f*cking shade of blue on that wretched canvas she calls her face. Bonus points for the black and gold feathers, which are completely out of place with the rest of her outfit…unless she is an Indian-Clown. Congratulations, Ms. January! Thank you for setting the bar so high!